Reasons I don't like Florida...

In case you were wondering.

I. HOLY FREAKING WILDLIFE.

A) ants

• 1. Carpenter
• 2. Fire
• 3. Sugar
• 4. All of which are in my house.

B) cockroaches

• 1. okay, mostly in my garage

C) lovebugs

• 1. Seriously, check it out. They're mating.
• 2. They fly around like that... it's truly bizarre.

D) wasps

• 1. Again, in my house.
• 2. Also, around my house.

E) wolf spiders

• 1. especially when they've got their babies on their back and you try to squish them.

F) I'm sure I'm missing some insect form.

G) Citrus Rats

• 1. Yes, in my house. Yes, we're looking for a new place.
• 2. I like them best dead in our traps.

H) Vultures

• 1. They look just like the Disney version.
• 2. It totally creeps me out.
• 3. But they're at least useful, they help out with item I.

I) Possums

• 1. Specifically on my back patio.
• 2. But more commonly dead on the side of the road.

II. LACK OF SEASONS

A) We've got summer down pat.

• 1. Woo.
• 2. It's hot.
• 3. It's humid.

B) Fall - not so much.

• 1. Unless you count the two weeks in February when the weather gets into the 50s.
• 2. I don't count that.
• 3. You shouldn't either.

C) Winter - Ha!

• 1. non-existant
• 2. I miss snow.
• 3. I like hot chocolate.

D) Spring - You're kidding right?

• 1. Seriously y'all, it's boring.
• 2. Kill me now.
• 3. I can't stand another year of it!

III. What to do with my children all day?

A) Disney?

• 1. Have you seen this lately?
• 2. Got an extra $279.04
• 3. That's just one day for my family
• 4. That doesn't include:

• a. gas to get there
• b. parking

• 1. $10

• c. any food you might buy

• 1. really $$$

• d. souvenirs

• 1. yeah right
• 2. go to the dollar store

• 5. It's not really all that fun.

• a. you just paid $300 to stand in line for 2 hours for the Dumbo ride
• b. congratulations

• 6. Can you tell I'm not a big fan?

B) Really, there's not much else.

• 1. Everything is very touristy.
• 2. Also crowded.
• 3. Also expensive.
• 4. Thank you, Disney.

I could go on, but really, I'm just missing my seasons. Especially fall. Especially the leaves changing and the cool weather (that finally comes in January). I miss brisk evenings that leave your cheeks and nose cold and stopping in at a friend's warm home for some hot cocoa and cookies... really, all these things used to happen!

Sigh. Fall, why have I forsaken you???